The Weight of Knowing
by PaperKat
Summary: AU to Starhawk's First Saga JT Dimension. Zhane doesn't quite believe Ashley's reasons for moving out of his and Andros' apartment.


This story was written based on Starhawk's alternate JT dimension to her First Saga and is itself an alternate dimension. If you haven't read the First Saga you probably won't know what's going on. As always, I don't own any of the Power Rangers.

The Weight of Knowing 

Written by PaperKat

AU to JT's AU

Zhane lay stretched out on his stomach on the sofa. His fists were stacked one on the other on the arm as he looked over. His scowling chin resting on top of his clenched hands as he glared at the clean spot in the light covering of dust on the end table.

It wasn't the dust that angered him, he was angry at the reason he could notice it at all, that damnable clean spot. The reason that spot was visible was because Ashley's picture crystal wasn't there anymore, the one with the rotating images of him and Andros, and the three of them. The picture wasn't the only thing in the apartment that was missing.

If he dared to go into her room he'd only see a mostly empty space with a few half-packed boxes of odd and ends that she hadn't had the time to move yet, but it wasn't that emptiness that bothered him the most. It was the one right here next to the model he had built while recovering from a severe injury last year and Andros' security monitor he insisted that they needed. 

The end table looked so big without the picture crystal and the apartment felt so small without the dozens of little things that use to proclaim that she had lived there. All those missing little trinkets that had somehow spilled out of her room over the last year and a half that had once made this place feel open and inviting. 

This morning for the first time in a very long time: the bathroom hadn't been filled with the scent of her shampoo, the light in the kitchen wasn't on to greet him as he stumbled in, Andros' data pad was were he had left it on the table and not hidden under her status reports by her bowl. Simply put, Ashley just wasn't there. 

Zhane's mind drifted back to the beginning when they had all decided that permanently living on the Megaship was both impractical and driving them crazy. Andros had insisted that they all pair up as much as possible, for security reasons, but not live in the same cities. Carlos and Karen had been a given as a pair as had been TJ and Cassie, and of course he and Andros were to be together so that had left Ashley the lone ranger out.

She was suppose to stay for only a few months or until a suitable roommate could be found, but after all this time an 'appropriate' roomy had never been found, or at least Andros had never deemed anyone good enough for their Yellow Ranger to move in with. She had fit into their lives with little to no adjusting, as Zhane had known she would and he was sure that it had just never been high on Andros' priority list to find her a 'permanent' place.

He had gotten to know Ashley rather well one on one the week that Andros had been absent from the Megaship on special assignment a little over two years ago. She was a lot like him in many ways and they had hit it off from the start, Andros had been the one that had needed convincing that the ex-Turbo Rangers were good enough to possess the Astro morphers and more specifically Ashley with Karone's morpher.

It had been amusing to him to watch Ashley drag Andros kicking and screaming into their group. Even with all the rude and down right condescending comments the Red Ranger had thrown her way, she had never given up. Although Zhane had known the reason why his lover was so reluctant to join in the team's social lives he had also realized how much their time alone had damaged Andros socially.

He had never been an overly public person, and even on the best of occasions it had been hard to pull the real Andros from his Red Ranger shell. Once KO-35 fell and the original team destroyed, Andros had gone from being cool and aloof to being bitter and frozen. The only times that the ice would melt and a glimmer of the Andros Zhane knew would show through had been late at night in each other's arms.

That all changed once Miss Hammond had set her sites on socializing Andros. Little by little she had chipped away at the shell until Zhane saw the love he had known on KO-35, and then she had kept on going and he had seen something more. He was sure that to the other Astro Rangers Andros' current behavior wasn't very unusual, but to Zhane it was like a whole portion of Andros' soul had been set free, like he himself had been set free.

Zhane had never admitted it to anyone, but just before they had come to Earth he had been on the verge of giving up on him and Andros as a couple. It hadn't been because he hadn't loved the striped haired boy, that could and would never happen, but the effort it had taken to keep his own hopes alive and to keep Andros from falling in on himself had gotten to be too much. 

Now that the burden of keeping Andros human was shared, however unevenly, among the Astro Rangers, Zhane allowed himself time away from his love to be himself. He didn't have to constantly monitor Andros' emotional state, he didn't have to be right there every time something didn't go according to the Red Ranger's carefully laid plans. Zhane had even allowed himself to question Andros' judgement from time to time, and their relationship had only gotten stronger for it.

He had forgotten how it had felt to be with Andros instead of being Andros. He had forgotten how much he had loved to do stupid things just for the fun of it and have Andros try and make him behave. He had forgotten how wonderful it felt to have Andros come to him instead him always going to the other. He had forgotten how much fun being in love with Andros could be, until Ashley had come into their lives.

Zhane turned over and concentrated on their mosaic on the ceiling. He focused on the unidentifiable pattern made of ranger colors and blocked out the rest of the sadly altered room. He tried to remember if there had been any indication of why Ashley had left them. He had his own theory, but he wasn't sure what he should or could do about it. Zhane went over her explanation over and over in his mind, and the more he did the more it worried him.

A only two days ago, while trying to locate a missing tool, they had found a set of approved moving request forms in Ashley's locker on the Megaship. Andros had immediately confirmed with the housing authorities that Ashley had requested her own apartment on the other side of the continent and her roommate was some Deep Space Operative neither of them knew.

There had been no dinner that evening, since Ashley had been quite literally ambushed by Andros the moment she had walked in. It had taken everything Zhane had to keep his lover calm until she had come home and once she had all control had been lost.

Andros had gone into superior leader mode and had demanded to know what she had thought she was doing. He had accused her of going over his head and undermining his authority, of purposely exposing herself to danger by having a roommate that essentially would never be there if she needed help. Ashley had taken all of it in stride and in fact seemed to expect it and had her excuses ready, a little too ready, like they had been rehearsed.

She had very calmly told them that Andros' authority couldn't possibly be in question because the decision for her to relocate simply wasn't his. That even though the other rangers had listened to him as to the where they might get housing, ultimately it had been their choice to go, not his. Plus, by her being separate from them it enforced Andros' reason for the distance of separation. If any one place were attacked the entire team wouldn't be wiped out. As it was if their apartment had been singled out half the team would be gone.

Ashley had also told them that her roommate wasn't going to be in Deep Space Ops for very much longer, he was on his last mission. He was to begin training to be a replacement Ranger if the need called for it. She had volunteered to train him and consequently would be spending a good deal of her time with him. And then there had been what she had claimed to be her real reason for leaving: to give them space.

She had gone on and on about how she was crowding them, being a third wheel, interfering with their together time. She had told them that she had been concerned that she was keeping them from having a normal relationship. Andros had had no response for that. Zhane had had one, but he had kept it to himself and now he wondered if he had made a very big mistake.

What would have happened if he had of suggested to Ashley that she wasn't leaving because of his and Andros' feelings but hers for Andros? Would she have admitted it? Would she have even been able to see it herself? And more importantly, would she have stayed?

For months he had wrestled with the knowledge he had gained while in Justin's dimension. Neither his Andros nor Ashley seemed to have noticed that they were a couple in that other world, which wasn't too surprising. The other Andros was just as phobic about public displays of affection as his was and the other Ashley was the same openly caring person. He probably would have never noticed if it hadn't have been for the conversation he had had with the other Andros.

A conversation, that for a short while had him doubting his closest friend and his lover. He was ashamed to remember how he had watched the two of them, even following them while they were alone together on occasion, looking for any signs that they were hiding something from him. It hadn't taken him long to realize that if they _were_ hiding something it was from themselves as well as everybody else.

It wasn't that Ashley and Andros acted any differently around each other or him after their trip to the other dimension, but Zhane's own awareness of them had heightened, and he began to see things in a whole new light. The way the two of them would touch for no good reason other than to do it. The way they would sit a little bit closer than just friends would. The way they almost seemed to have a telepathic awareness of each other. 

Certainly none of it had been damning evidence and the fact that even while alone they acted exactly the same only made Zhane feel more foolish for not trusting them, but the seed of wondering had taken root and he couldn't let it go. Just because nothing was happening didn't mean that something couldn't happen, and was it necessarily a bad thing? 

He had started off with Ashley knowing that no matter how weird his questions might be she'd answer them and think nothing of it. They were simple questions at first: what she thought of love, what kind of person she thought she'd end up with. Then he started asking her what she thought of him and Andros, individually and as a couple. Her answers had been very illuminating. 

In a very real way Ashley seemed to define her idea of love, what she thought of as true love, on his and Andros' relationship. For every question he had about how she thought love should be invariably her response would end with 'you know, like you and Andros'. Over the course of the few months that he had asked these questions he got the uncomfortable impression that she defined her sense well being around the two of them. As long as he and Andros were ok, the world was ok.

Zhane blinked as a new thought hit him. If Ashley thought, even for a moment no matter how ridiculous it was, that she was jeopardizing their relationship of course she would remove herself! Zhane hopped up off the couch and practically ran the few feet to the comm system, but it proved to be unnecessary when Andros walked in the apartment. 

"Oh, good you're home, we can get this done a lot faster with the two of us." Without waiting for an answer, Zhane went to Ashley's room and picked up one of the boxes.

He briefly considered trying to put Ash's belongings in their proper places, but rejected the idea when he realized it would take too long.

"What are you doing?"

Zhane turned to find Andros standing stiffly just outside Ashley's door as if he was wary of entering. To his knowledge, Andros had never been in Ash's room. Zhane had always been the one to invade her private space for one reason or another. 

"Well, if we're going to get Ashley moved back home by tonight we're going to need these boxes."

Andros just stared at him for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then slowly a grin tugged at his lips and a weight seemed to lift off his shoulders.

"Really?" If Andros' hadn't of looked so heart wrenchingly hopeful Zhane would have laughed.

"Really."

Andros wasted no time in joining him in carefully emptying out the boxes onto the floor. "You know she's not going to be happy with us about this."

"Well, too bad." Zhane told him as he stacked boxes one inside the other and went back into the living room. "If she had of talked to us first before making a decision that affected all of us, then this wouldn't have happened."

"What if she doesn't want to come back?"

A half a dozen witty jokes flitted through Zhane's head, but Andros' all too serious look stopped him. He dropped the boxes on the floor and pulled his love into a comforting hug.

"She has to come back. This is where she belongs." Zhane pulled away to hold Andros' face between his hands. "And if she's too stubborn to see it you'll just have to convince her."

"Me?" Andros asked, clearly confused. "Why would I…" 

"That's what we have you around for isn't it? To talk us out of doing stupid things." Clearly now was not the time for him to bring up the other issue of the possible unrealized romantic affection between the two. There would be plenty of time to explore that bend in the road once they got Ash back.

"I think that you have more faith in my abilities than I do." Andros told him sullenly. "I didn't do much good last time."

Zhane couldn't help himself. He leaned over and gave Andros loving kiss on his pouting mouth. "Yeah, but this time you can talk and she can yell."

Andros laughed and pushed him away. "All we have to do now is find out for sure where her apartment is." Zhane said as he reclaimed the boxes from the floor.

"Selouns district, complex 29, apartment 264. Her bedroom's on the right."

Zhane raised his eyebrow in question. Andros shrugged sheepishly before smiling. "I kind of hacked into the system when she told us she was moving."

"And they record which bedroom she's in?"

Andros colored slightly. "No. I found that out when I broke in this afternoon."

"Andros! You little sneak!" Zhane wrapped his arms around the shorter boy and gave a fake sob. "I'm so proud of you!"

Within minutes the two of them were standing outside of Ashley's new and soon to be old apartment.

"Well, should you break in or shall I? Ash is suppose to be training that new ranger wannabe right?" Zhane earned a glare and a nod from his obviously nervous lover.

"Can I help you two?"

Zhane and Andros whirled around to find a very young civilian armed guard aiming his weapon at them. The instant that the boy realized who they were he lowered his blaster.

"I'm sorry, sirs. I thought that you were trying to… obviously you're not, but it looked like…"

"It's ok. We were just trying to figure out what we were going to do. You see our friend just moved in here and the housing authority made a mistake by transferring her here. We wanted to come and help her start moving back, but we forgot to get her keys from her."

Andros seemed to get more nervous looking up and down the hall like someone was going to jump out and stop them at any moment, but the guard accepted the lie without question and rummaged around in his pocket, pulling out a set of master card keys. 

"No, problem sir. I can let you in. I'm so sorry about earlier, but they put us on alert. There was an anomaly in the security grid a little while ago and they wanted us to be suspicious of anything unusual."

"That's quite alright. You were just doing your duty after all." Zhane reassured the hyper guard.

After the door clicked open the three of them walked inside and came across a scene he thought he'd never see. Before them on a couch facing them sat Ashley and Astronema drinking tea. As soon as they realized they were there the girls jumped up. Completely stunned, Zhane didn't react when the guard raised his weapon and cried out, 'Intruder!'.

Suddenly everything seemed to happen at once. Andros made a lunge for the trigger-happy civilian, just as he squeezed off a shot. He heard Ashley scream, 'No, Stop!' when she stepped in front of the surprised princess of evil. Andros and the guard fell to the floor as Ashley was thrown backward into Astronema's arms by the force of the blast.

The look of confused astonishment in the blue haired girl's eyes as she gazed down at the lifeless body in her arms was nothing short of incredible. 

"Ashley?"

Andros' quiet plea broke both Zhane and Astronema's immobility. He took one step forward and the commander of the dark fortress narrowed her eyes menacingly at him. With barely a gesture of her hand the two girls dissolved into outlines of violet energy and were gone. 

End


End file.
